Ben on...mad, mad science

I was intrigued by Richard Boock's description of Bracewell as a 'mad scientist'. I guess it's a reference to his experimenting with the top order, though it probably has as much to do with the fact that it is hard to say mad without adding scientist to it.

I've got to say, taking a stab to see if something works and then ignoring all the data seems pretty poor science to me. More bad than mad.

So it got me wondering, what would a mad scientist do with the New Zealand team?

• Splice Mark Richardson and Craig McMillan together to get a batsman who's patient and aggressive
  
• Put a metronome in Ian Butler to give him some consistency
  
• Dissect Lou Vincent; give his right knee to Shane Bond, his left knee to Franklin, his ribs to Hamish Marshall, his humility to Scott Styris, his sense of humour to Richard Boock
  
• Clone Jacob Oram
• Go back in time and abduct Mike Hussey's parents so that he's born in New Zealand