Thrashes, 'taches and terry-towelling

Peter Roebuck passes his verdict on the Twenty20 game in this morning's Melbourne Age:

Far from being an abomination as had been anticipated - a cricketing version of Desperate Housewives or Dancing with the Stars - the first 20-over match between nations was a hoot.

Read the rest here.

The Shoaib saga drags on

Akhtar has been fined and reprimanded by the Pakistani Cricket Board for "erratic behaviour", but the fine is loose change (US$500) and the chief of selectors, Wasim Bari, said that "Pakistan needs a fully fit Akhtar for the important India tour". To me this implies that the rumoured revolt by his team-mates to have him dumped from the squad has failed.

Twenty20

Quotes from those of us watching the game last night:

Its not much of a game for the bowlers.

We couldn't get that score even if we had 50 overs.

Its not f**king working, so stop bloody stepping away to leg all the time. [the ball before Scott Styris stepped away to the leg-side for the sixth ball in a Brett Lee over and was clean bowled]

If only they put as much effort into their cricket as they did into their hair.

They looked like clowns, they played like clowns.

The thing I don't like about this form of cricket is that it can slip away from you so quickly.

The Australians simply bowled better than us.

Ohmigod. Haaaaaa. Haaaaaa. Haaaaa. [all of us the first time we saw Hamish and his hair]

What did other people think of the Twenty20 experiment? If a game came to your town, would you go to see it?

George Gregan

A quote from Jeff Wilson on the FICA World XI matches:

"I must admit, the first ball from [Andy] Bichel, he mentioned George Gregan," Wilson said, referring to the tackle that won the Wallabies the 1994 Bledisloe Cup. "That's brilliant. It was a bouncer he bowled, I ducked underneath it and he said, 'It's just like George Gregan, eh?' I just said, 'What's that got to do with anything?' and got on with the next ball."

From this article in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Poll results and a new poll

My last poll asked you what should be done about the stress fracture crisis in New Zealand cricket. Six of you believed that free milk should be reintroduced into our school classrooms, two of you wanted to set an example and deter others by shooting a few stress fracture sufferers, and four of you wanted to ban cricketers from participating in any activities apart from cricket that involved use of their backs (having sex, sleeping, sitting, walking etc). Everyone thought that dosing the water supply with titanium and selecting only cricketers who are already in wheelchairs were not goers.

Of course, it did transpire that the entire crisis was a bit of an over-reaction as Jake Oram and Dan Vettori didn't actually have the damn things. Perhaps I should have included a "bugger it, it'll sort itself out" option in the poll?

You might like to wait a couple of days to vote in my new poll. Twenty20 cricket hits New Zealand on Thursday and I want your verdict on its impact on the one-day game.

Shane Bond

Today's issue of The Australian contains a profile of Shane Bond which reveals that he is very close to making a comeback - although he will miss the ODIs against Australia and has ruled himself out of test cricket until December.

The profile is worth a look, if only to read Damien Martyn's assessment that if Bond had been fit, he would have ended his career as one of the alltime great bowlers.

Application of the LBW law

Crickey! Even the Australians are beginning to question umpire bias in favour of their own players. This article in the Sydney Morning Herald points out that over the past five years visting batsmen have been 58% more likely to be given out LBW than Australian batsmen. In that time LBW has been the mode of dismissal for 11.7% of Australians and 17% of visitors. John Buchanan can't chalk this one up to the fact that dirty foriegners appeal for everything while good. honest Aussies only appeal when someone is clearly out either - because Australians are strangely prone to being dismissed LBW as often as anyone else outside those sandy shores.

One interesting side to the SMH's analysis is that they have looked at the world for comparisons and found that umpires who visit New Zealand are prone to give locals out LBW far more often than anyone else - 20% of New Zealand batsmen are given out that way in New Zealand compared to 12.7% of visitors. How depressingly predictable.

The heady smell of burning bridges

After refusing a Pakistan Cricket Board order to turn up for a physical examination to determine whether he is really injured or not, Shoaib Akhtar has decided to further inflame relations with the Board by refusing another order - this one to play in a Patron's Trophy domestic match.

For all his talent, I am very glad he is not playing for New Zealand.

A history of the Beige Brigade

Cricinfo has published a history of the Beige Brigade, including its recent clash with New Zealand Cricket over the sale of replica gear.

Scientific appealing?

Cricinfo has done a little analysis and come up with the following figures on lbw appeals during the VB series:

In the recently concluded VB Series, Australia had 47% of their lbw appeals upheld, while for Pakistan and West Indies, the other two teams in the competition, that figure was less than 14%. Of course, ask John Buchanan about it and he'll probably say that the Australians were choosy about their appeals, while Pakistan and West Indies went up for everything.

Country - Total appeals - Given - % given
Australia - 21 - 10 - 47.6%
West Indies - 15 - 2 - 13.3%
Pakistan - 20 - 2 - 10%

In fact, in all ODIs in Australia since April 2002 – when one third-country umpire was made compulsory for one-dayers – only 6.7% of Australian dismissals have been lbws (15 out of 222), while the percentage goes up to 9.3 for overseas players (28 out of 300). Simply a statistical quirk, or the result of scientific appealing?

The travels of Mark Greatbatch

Paddy is set to become English county Warkwickshire's next cricket academy director. Greatbatch coached Central Districts until 2003/4 when he left New Zealand citing frustration at salaries and opportunities. Lets hope he returns to New Zealand one day to share some of the knowledge he will no doubt develop in England.

Australian selections

Darren Lehmann's international career is almost certainly over after he was dropped from the Australian side to tour New Zealand. Matthew Hayden has been retained and newish names Mike Hussey (who has played one game for Australia) and James Hopes (who has played none) have been bought in.

Hussey is a middle order batsman with a career average of 51.86. He is 29 and in English county cricket has been lethal. Kerry O'Keefe however thinks he has plateaued and has said "I no longer hold great hopes for him". One of O'Keefe's reasons for this is that Hussey seems to be a slow wicket player only - which might actually be a good thing for him on this tour given the usual state of New Zealand wickets and the injury status of our quicks.

Hopes is an all-rounder and at 26 is the youngster in an ageing side. I suspect he is being picked as a one-day specialist as his bowling is described as being "medium paced" and "tight". A first class bowling average of 50.47 certainly doesn't herald too much threat. His first class batting average is 28.80.

The full Australian squad to tour New Zealand is:

Ricky Ponting (capt)
Adam Gilchrist (wk)
Michael Clarke
Jason Gillespie
Matthew Hayden
Brad Hogg
James Hopes
Michael Hussey
Michael Kasprowicz
Simon Katich
Brett Lee
Damien Martyn
Glenn McGrath
Andrew Symonds.

The State Shield

The good thing about not having any international cricket is that it has allowed our test players to have far greater participation in the domestic game. And most of them are doing very well for themselves. Most of the batsmen are getting good runs, most of the bowlers are getting good wickets and some - like Dan Vettori - are getting both. The State Shield has been a fascinating competition to watch and yesterday's ND vs Canterbury semi-final was a great game despite the relative ease of ND's victory. Perhaps the best thing about it was the hunger that the old hands showed. Players such as Vettori and Craig McMillan look to be enjoying their cricket and it seems that the more relaxed atmosphere of the domestic game has removed some weight from their shoulders. Lets just hope that the fire they have rediscovered lasts until the end of the season. And lets also hope that some of their desire starts to rub off on Chris Cairns (75 runs at 9.38 and 4 wickets at 70.5).

Umpiring in Oz

Australian umpires have always been amongst the worst in the world when it comes to favouring their own team (anyone else remember Martin Snedden's infamous catch which wasn't, or Lance Cairns being no-balled for intimidation) - and it seems that international umpires aren't immune to the Australian influence either. Mark Richardson has decided to give his opinion after hearing complaints from the Pakistanis. The Stuff website is running a poll based on this column and it is currently running at 85% of respondants agreeing with the statement that Australian umpires are biased towards their own players. Go and add your two cents worth.

Decline of the BBC

I have heard all the criticism of the BBC from US conservatives - calling it left-wing, biased and incompetent - but I didn't realise until now that they had sunk so low. Scott Styris is described as being "an important member" of the New Zealand side? Who the hell does their research?

Perhaps I am over-reacting. Perhaps they mean "important member" in the same way that a diseased limb is important.

Rewind to 1981

"His mouth gaped and he tottered as if he'd seen the devil himself." I used to have a workmate who would reminisce about this over - particularly after seeing Shane Bond bowl to Australia in the last World Cup.

A step too far

It looks like Shoaib Akhtar's antics have finally gone too far. According to a report on Cricinfo his team-mates have threatened to go on strike unless he is dropped for the upcoming tour of India. If you are shopping for team spirit, don't go looking in Pakistan.

Australian frailty

Those bloody Australians are trying to lull hope back into New Zealand souls, just so they can crush it again. If you read the Australian papers you would think that the team to tour New Zealand is on the verge of collapse. The Sydney Morning Herald this morning includes not one, but two articles about how weak the Australian batting line-up has become. Not to be outdone, today's Australian also contains two seperate stories about the team's poor batting - here and here.

Jeff told reporters asking about the '80s revival match to look at his forehead to judge his hair growth capacity. But I reckon he could still manage a 'mo...

Biege brigade antics

The Biege Brigade's latest scheme is aimed at the Twenty20 match with Australia on February 17. New Zealand Cricket decided to up the novelty factor of this match by putting the New Zealand team into classic 1980's style biege outfits and the Biege Brigade has decided to capitalise on this by offering any player who grows a moustache or afro for the occasion "a lot of beer". The Brigade has targeted Dan Vettori as a particular target of the afro side of the campaign and has offered a handicapping system for players at a natural disadvantage when it comes to facial hair growth - such as Nathan Astle and Brendon McCullum.

The Australian press has again raised one coy eyebrow in amusement. New Zealanders might not win as many games as Australians, but I suspect we have a lot more fun trying.

Stress fractures? Don't know what you are talking about.

Here is the best news of the summer - Jacob Oram doesn't have a stress fracture and should be back playing cricket in a couple of weeks, and Daniel Vettori doesn't have a stress fracture either, just some easily fixed tissue damage. Suddenly the prospect of an Australian tour doesn't seem quite so horrific.

In a slump

Australia's head of selectors, Allan Border, has openly discussed dropping Matthew Hayden from at least the first part of the tour to New Zealand. I am not sure whether this is good news for New Zealand or bad. Hayden is in shocking form and if his slump continues then the New Zealanders would love to see him at the top of the order. On the other hand, if he came out of the slump and returned to his bullying best then he could destroy an attack without Shane Bond or Daniel Vettori.

The other consideration in this equation is who might replace Hayden if he is dropped. And that is where New Zealand hopes take a little bit of a dive, because it is likely to be Michael "Australian cricketer of the year" Clarke.

The Unloveables Part II

In an article in the Observer, Neil Manthorp reports that the English team that visited South Africa was rude, arrogant and captained by a genuine _____. Don't ask me what a _____ is, Manthorp just says it is Afrikaans and not particularly nice.

Manthorp is not alone in his thinking. Clive Lloyd, as match referee in the final test, was so appalled by Michael Vaughan's attitude that he gave him a public roasting - calling the English captain "rude and dismissive".

None of this should be a surprise. I can't think of an England team that has toured New Zealand and has not been rude and arrogant. But I suspect this particular bout of hubris won't last long. It is hard to be arrogant when you are being stuffed by the Aussies - and the Ashes are not too far away.

Wilson's return

I suspect Tama Canning is set for disappointment. Before the World XI games he looked to be first choice of the rank for the role of New Zealand's bowling all-rounder. Andre Adams had drifted out of the picture after some indifferent form and no-one else really seemed to be on the horizon. The came the tsunami, the cancellation of genuine one-dayers and the chance for the selectors to experiment. And it was a chance that Jeff Wilson took with both hands. If we are honest he is not an exceptional bowler, but against the World XI he did three things very well - he bowled at a nippy pace (touching 140kmph), he got bounce by bowling into the pitch and he bowled very straight.

Not only did Wilson do well enough to stamp his name on the role, but Andre Adams suddenly hit form for Auckland - taking 4-93 and 6-25 against Wellington in the State Championship. Adams is currently out of cricket due to a virus, but with Canning suddenly anonymous (he didn't take a wicket against Wellington and scored 4 and 8 not out) he is still looking the best bet to be Wilson's back-up.

Hamilton

Sigh. Poor old Hamilton. New Zealand Cricket finally laid down the law last season and told the Hamilton City Council that international matches would not be staged there unless the crappy pitch was torn up and relaid. So the Council spent the winter tearing up the pitch and putting in a new one, which turned out to be even more crap than the old one. Its enough to make you want to smack a City Councillor's head against the wall. This is the fifth most read article in today's Sydney Morning Herald.

Poll results and a new poll

My last poll asked you which Australian cricketer got most on your wick. Initially it was a close competition, but at the end Brett Lee ran away with the prize. Seven of you found the blonde chucker even more irritating than the blonde spinner (who won four votes). Almost the entire Australian team managed shared third place with Matthew Hayden, Ricky Ponting, Glenn McGrath, Jason Gillespie, Adam Gilchrist and Michael Clarke all winning one vote apiece.

Having dealt with one evil foe of New Zealand cricket, my new poll asks you how to rid ourselves of our other great scourge. Stress fractures. Vote now, before your back goes.

Scott Angry

Scott Styris has sought clarification from the New Zealand selectors over the reason he was dropped from the second charity one-dayer. Scott didn't believe Stephen Fleming when he said Styris was dropped because he is "short of runs". After all, this claim is clearly rubbish because "I was man of the series three games ago in Bangladesh, so I'm not going that bad." And if you use the performance against a sub-par Bangladesh as your form guide and ignore the matches against Australia and Sri Lanka that followed and a horrendous domestic season then he might just be right. In justifying why the Bangladesh series is the only reliable indicator of his form Styris claimed that his poor one-day form for Northern (scores of 0,6 and 0) was the result of "three crap wickets". Having handily ignored the games against Australia and Sri Lanka (batting average 7) he then claimed that he has been doing well in the first-class game. These matches have been played on "very good" pitches and his scores in the "30s and 40s" show that he is in good form. While only quibbling slightly with his mathematics skills, I do have to admit that returns of 22, 36, 31 and 15 are actually pretty good given his meagre talents.

Having dismissed form as a reason for being dropped, Styris has hunted around for the real reason - and he thinks he has found it. It seems the selectors are trying to play mind games with him. They dropped him to boost his enthusiasm for the game. But clever Scott has seen through that, "I've played a few games now, so I don't think I need a wake-up call," he claims.

A banner at the stadium told us "Scott Styris: don't hate him because he's beautiful." And why would you when he gives us so many other good reasons.

"Stress fracture"

I never, ever want to hear that phrase again. Shane Bond has one, it looks like Jacob Oram has one and now it appears that Daniel Vettori has another one. What is it with New Zealand bowlers and stress fractures? I say the only solution is to bring all promising teenage cricketers in and replace their spines with titanium rods. Or bionic vertebrae. Or something. 'Cos bone is just bloody useless.

Fleming's knock

Here is a link to the Sydney Morning Herald's write up entitled "Fleming's innings 'the best ever'".

Cricket in the movies

Cricket has not often appeared in movies, but it looks like Lagaan and Wonderous Oblivion have begun a trend. A joint Australian-Indian venture is set to star Adam Gilchrist and Brett Lee. Gee, I wonder if Lee will be able to cope with living the vain, preening, arrogant life of a movie star?

Fleming's knock

What can you say? A breath-taking knock against the two best bowlers in the world. Unbelievable stuff and the sort of thing to make his usual inconsistency seem all the more frustrating.

The ratings system formally known as PWC

LG has taken over sponsorship of the ratings system formally sponsored by Price Waterhouse Coopers and generally known as the PWC Ratings. At the same time the ICC has announced that the ratings system will be recognised as "official".

I have been discussing this move some friends. We all agree that the worst aspect of this is that the excellent PWC ratings website has been shut down and replaced by a very unexciting ICC website. The ICC website promises that it will be improved shortly - and I noticed that it was better today than it was yesterday - but unless it undergoes radical improvement, I can't see it ever beating the old PWC website for style and functionality.

Ben doesn't like the fact that the ratings are now "official" at all. He thinks the ratings are great, but should be just for fun. I disagree, mainly because the popularity of other rating systems are on the rise - particularly in the subcontinent where systems like CEAT are starting to overtake the PWC ratings in terms of popularity. The problem with these new rating systems is that they generally award points for player performances. For example under CEAT a player gets 1 point for every 35 runs they score with additional points depending on things like match outcome (see here for more on how CEAT works). The problem with this is that a player who plays 20 matches a year will generally outscore a player who only plays 10 matches - meaning that the ratings favour Indian players above the others because Indian cricketers play more games than anyone else. Recognition of the PWC ratings by the ICC should keep them at the top of the pile and do away with demand for these lesser systems.

Adams in Essex

Andre Adams' term as an emergency replacement player for Essex last season was so successful that the county has offered him a contract for next season.

Learning from Pakistan

Politically Pakistan might not be the most enlightened nation in the world, but a huge revamp of its cricketing structure has included some exceptionally enlightened and democratic ideas. The Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has started with the basics, by redrawing a map of the nation to ensure that the sides and the administration are as representative as possible. The 35 old associations have been abolished and replaced with 99 "divisions". These divisions incorporate the entire country - including the north-western provinces which have previously not had representation and which usually only make the news for reasons associated with Osama bin Laden. These will not be empty associations either (such as those in Kenya which have received huge amounts of funding despite having no players - funding which has subsequently vanished), the passion for the game has risen dramatically in this part of the country - something witnessed by the appearance of players like Shahid Afridi, Younis Khan, Yasir Hameed, Umar Gal and Riaz Afridi in the national side. The PCB has undertaken to ensure that each of the 99 divisions has at least three turf pitches of a good standard, four practice pitches, a pavilion and seating for a modest crowd. They have already built 34 new grounds and have upgraded the facilities in 10 other divisions to ensure that they are up to scratch.

The 99 divisions will play each other in 9 regional competitions - each competition including the teams encompased by one of the first-class associations (except for Lahore and Karachi which will stage one divisional competition apiece, but will provide two first-class sides due to their size). If this were to occur in New Zealand you might see a competition incorporating Wellington City, the Hutt Valley and other teams within the region encompassed by the Wellington first-class association playing each other, with similar competitions in each of Northern Districts, Auckland, Central Districts, Canterbury and Otago. This structure would see a club cricketer aiming to graduate to his divisional side and then to his first-class side and then to the test team.

This all seems perfectly logical and sensible, and it is remarkable that no-one has thought of it before. Or perhaps they have. The problem with most cricketing structures is that they are ancient and have developed over time and in a rather haphazard nature. The age and sentiment attached to them makes change a very difficult proposition.

But lets put sentiment a side and take a look at the current structure of divisional cricket in New Zealand (and it may surprise you to know that it exists, such is its low profile). A team like Hutt Valley might play two games a season in the Hawke Cup competition if they hold the cup, or only one if they don't, and, if the Wellington Association decides to organise them, the odd warm-up or trial match. Representative sides like these exist in a weird sort of limbo, tagged on to the structure of the game and generally ignored by everyone - including first-class selectors who generally rely on club cricket as an indicator of form and talent.

The game in New Zealand is built on remarkably unsteady roots and the addition of a decent divisional structure might be one way to make these roots stronger. Realistically we currently only have two levels of cricket beneath the test game - first-class cricket and club cricket. Club cricket is played on substandard wickets and the first-class season is exceptionally short. The task of upgrading every club wicket is probably beyond us, but playing a divisional competition on the best club wickets might be possible. The competition could be staged on weekends at the same time as club cricket, and being regional this should mean very little additional administrative and organisational cost.

If divisional cricket seems like an unnecessary layer to the game in New Zealand, then we should do the unsentimental thing and scrap the Hawke Cup competition altogether. We could use the money saved by doing this to extend the first-class season. The old argument was that the first-class season had to be short because players couldn't afford to take more time off work to compete in it, but the professional era has put paid to that.

Whatever we do, more cricket of a higher standard is what our promising cricketers need. The current system fails to give them that and it is time to be a little inventive. Pakistan is one place showing us how.

Batsmen coming into form

The New Zealand batting order is taking on a bit of a rosy sheen thanks to the form of batsmen in the first-class game. In the latest round most of the top players did well, despite generally average team totals:

Craig McMillan - 51 (out of 198) and 82 (out of 238)
Nathan Astle - 53 (out of 198) and 3 (out of 238)
Michael Papps - 3 (out of 198) and 13 (out of 238)
Tim McIntosh - 21 (out of 198) and 4 (out of 238)
Peter Fulton - 18 (out of 198) and 23 (out of 238)
Jamie How - 4 (out of 350) and 13 (out of 275)
Matthew Sinclair - 17 (out of 350) and 95 (out of 275)
Ross Taylor - 42 (out of 350) and 0 (out of 275)
Matthew Horne - 76 (out of 404) and 72 (out of 223/3)
Lou Vincent - 185 (out of 404) and 8 (out of 223/3)
Rob Nicol - 35 (out of 404) and 14* (out of 223/3)
Hamish Marshall - 51 (out of 184) and 13 (out of 195)
Scott Styris - 31 (out of 184) and 15 (out of 195)
Stephen Fleming - 56 (out of 220) and 80* (out of 160/2)
Jesse Ryder - 20 (out of 220)

So McMillan, Astle, Sinclair, Fleming and Marshall are all looking good in the middle order - with the form of Vincent and Horne putting some pressure on them. A word also on Rob Nicol, whose 35 came off 180 balls in 242 minutes and who I think has the technique and temperament to be a test opener.

There are some concerns. None of the youngsters did particularly well and on current form, Michael Papps would have to be pretty lucky to be selected to open the batting against Australia. Meanwhile Scott Styris has barely scored a run all year. But overall, I think we are starting to look in fairly good shape.

Test cricket

A quick glance at this morning's test scoreboards shows what we are missing with the cancellation of the Sri Lankan tour. Test cricket is abounding with cracking matches. A superb spell of swing bowling by Matthew Hoggard sent South Africa stumbling to a dramatic defeat in the last overs at Johannesburg while in Dhaka a brilliant 153 by Tatenda Taibu has set up an extremely even looking last day between Zimbabwe and Bangladesh.

Poll results and a new poll

In my last poll I asked you what you wanted most for Christmas. The majority of you (7 of 13) were of one mind - you wanted a fit Shane Bond. One of you thought a new opening batsman was a more pressing need. Three of you didn't care which players were involved, as long as they won a test match against Australia. Two of you just wanted to see some cricket that wasn't going to be interrupted by the weather before the tsunami made your votes tragically redundant.

My new poll asks you which of the Australians' you would most like to see on the end of a Shane Bond bouncer.

Cricket in Kenya

Things might be taking a turn for the better in Kenya. A couple of years ago Kenya were looking a far better side than Bangladesh and entry to the test cricket arena looked a formality. But since then, the game in Kenya has been torn apart; Maurice Odumbe, an international class all-rounder, was suspended by the ICC for match-fixing and another ten players were placed under investigation; while the Kenyan Cricket Association (KCA) has been outstandingly corrupt in a game already known for the corruption of its ruling boards.

Now it seems the KCA has gone too far. After refusing to hold elections and treating its most powerful associations shabbily in favour of mysterious provinces which didn't actually seem to have any players, the Kenyan Minister of Sports has sacked the entire Board, appointed an interim Board and ordered that a constitution be drafted which includes such radical concepts as open accountancy and elections.

It is too soon to put Kenya forward as a potential test side again, but there is a feeling of hope around the game again. If the Board can get itself into order, then the players have the talent to succeed. Steve Tikolo, for one, is a batsman who would be welcomed into most international sides.

The middle order moves up

According to Richard Boock in this morning's Herald, Stephen Fleming could well be chosen as an opener against Australia. With Skippy Sinclair already at the top, this means that both openers for the first test are likely to be converted middle order batsmen.

There has always been debate in cricket about whether you should select specialists in each position, or whether you choose the country's best XI players and jiggle the batting order around to fit them all in. New Zealand is almost unique in following this second course and I can't think of too many occasions when it has actually worked. Ken Wadsworth was turned from a batsman into a wicketkeeper and Bryan Young went the other way to become a successful opener. Jacob Oram has also done well as a top order batsman turned all-rounder, but other players we have tried to wedge into uncomfortable slots have not lasted so well. Recent failed experiments include Lou Vincent as an opener, Jeremy Coney at number three, Dipak Patel as a front-line off-spinner and Ken Rutherford as an opener. Of these different transitions, I would suggest that the most difficult is the one from middle order batsman to opening batsman. It involves a change of mind-set from aggressor to defender and a change of technique to adapt to the moving ball. It is also the request we seem to ask of our players most often.

The government steps forward

When he arranged the World XI matches Martin Snedden must have been worried about the cost. The tour would be expensive to host, with New Zealand Cricket having to cover the expenses and wages of the tourists as well as of their own side. To make matters worse, New Zealand Cricket naturally felt obliged to pledge some of the revenue earned towards tsunami relief. Snedden said he hoped sponsorship would cover some of the cost and he must have been very relieved whenthe New Zealand government announced that it will be the series first major donor. Our taxes will be contributing $20 for each run, $1000 for each four and $5000 for each six scored in the series to the relief fund, on top of the money the country has already pledged.

The first-class season starts again

The national four-day series resumes again today, with most international players available for this round. This means we will see Daniel Vettori and Darryl Tuffey bowling to Stephen Fleming in the opening match, between Northern Districts and Wellington. Perhaps even more interesting than the prospect of seeing how our national representatives fare when facing each other, is the prospect of seeing how Jesse Ryder does against the same bowlers and how big the talent gap is between established test-class cricketers and those on the first-class circuit. The Black Caps website is promising live coverage so we can tune in and find out.

A couple of recent good results have boosted the Northern Districts side and the contest between them and Wellington should be more even than you would expect from a game between last year's champions and last year's wooden spooners. One of those recent good results was the superb victory over Central Districts before Christmas and someone called Jack Solock has produced "game graphs" to demonstrate exactly how that match panned out. They are worth puzzling through, but I can't see them replacing the could old score card.

Summer just got longer

New Zealand Cricket have just announced that the Sri Lankans will return here in April to play the two tests which were cancelled by the tsunami.

This is late in the year for cricket, but I actually it could actually be a much safer proposition in April than it is in January - especially given the weather we have seen so far in the new year.

The tour means that our test programme for the season will be completed. Sadly, the one day programme has been badly restricted and the money-spinning holiday season has been left vacant. In addition to the loss of New Zealand Cricket's main source of revenue, the World XI games brought in to replace them could also be a financial downer - money from the games will go to help tsunami victims and the Board will be the ones paying the tourists' wages and travel costs (the expenses of touring sides are usually met by their own Boards) - making this a financially disastrous year for the game.

Another issue is where the games will be played. The tests will take place during the Super 12 rugby programme, which means that the choice of venues is likely to be restricted. The Basin is an obvious choice for one match given that it is not used for rugby, but perhaps this tour is also a chance to take cricket a bit further afield. McLean Park in Napier maybe. Or the Queenstown Events Centre (but only if they change the name to something a little more exciting). Cricket in April is unlikely to draw crowds anyway, so a chance to give the highest level of the game more exposure in the provinces will not result in too much additional cost.

Cricket in Zimbabwe

Greedy white players, corrupt officials, racism on both sides and an inept world governing body. The sad decline of cricket in Zimbabwe is chronicled in an excellent piece in the Observer.

Zimbabwe vs Bangladesh

You might ask whether it deserves to be called a test match, but Bangladesh and Zimbabwe are currently battling out a bit of a classic in Chittagong. With one day remaining, Bangladesh are on top with Zimbabwe are 46/3 in pursuit of 381.

The Zimbabwe team is full of new faces, but of those a couple are making a good impression. Elton Chigumbura scored 71 in Zimbabwe's second innings and took 5 for 54 as Bangladesh tried to set up a target. Chigumbura is only 18 and made his first-class debut as a 15 year old before destroying Australia in the under-19 World Cup final. He is definitely a player to watch for the future. Apart from Chigumbura and the increasingly impressive Tatenda Taibu, the Zimbabwe batting has been a little weak, but another youngster, Christopher Mpofu took four wickets in the first innings and another in the second to show promise with the new ball.

Bangladesh performed badly against New Zealand late last year, but you shouldn't judge them on just that tour. Their captain, Habibul Bashar missed most of that series and admitted to Wisden that he was very disappointed in the side's performance after they had pushed Pakistan and the West Indies hard. They are a side developing a solid core of players and some of those individuals are starting to shine. Bashar gives the batting line-up a bit of steel and the very talented Mohammed Ashraful is starting to flourish in the middle order while Nafis Iqbal is a young player with talent and the sort of never-say-die attitude the side probably needs. Tapash Baisya and Mashrafe Mortaza might not inspire fear in too many batting line-ups at this stage, but Mortaza is forging quite a decent record and Mohammad Rafique is up there with Daniel Vettori in the left-arm spinning stakes.

A victory will give the Bangladesh side a huge boost (and will sadly ensure New Zealand retains the record for most games played before achieving a first test win) and could lead to even better things over the next year. Zimbabwe on the other hand are a side in dire need of both development and political stability. The Bangladesh tour is not going to help with the latter, but it is certainly an opportunity for the former.

NZ vs the Rest

It might not sound that exciting at first glance, the Sri Lankan tour replaced with a handful of one-day games against players not selected for their own national teams - but when those players include Shane Warne, Muttiah Muralitharan, Lance Klusener, Andy Flower, Heath Streak, Graeme Hick, Justin Langer, Michael Bevan, Ian Harvey, Matthew Elliot, Andy Bichel Sanath Jayasuriya, Chaminda Vaas and Kumar Sangakkara it starts to sound a lot better. It is all still unofficial, but an announcement is expected today and according to the leaks these players will be here to play the New Zealand team in games on January 22, 24 and 26.

Shane Bond is back

There is so little cricket news to concentrate on that everyone has gone gah-gah over the fact that Shane Bond had a wee bowl in club cricket. The man himself admitted to being surprised by the number of headlines and demands for an interview, and 10 overs against Canterbury Country is hardly anything which would normally earn you a front page cover on the Dominion Post's sport supplement. But then, this is Shane Bond. And he did look quite sharp. And he did say "It could be two weeks, it could be four weeks, but it is going to fall into place for me." And Australia are here in four weeks' time. And, dammit, that means it is bloody exciting news.

Another poll for you to vote in

The BBC is asking you to vote for the greatest sports commentator of all time. Sadly the list is a little limited and is no room for you to scribble John Parker's name at the bottom, but it is still worth voting - Richie Benaud is currently top of the table and he needs your help to stay there.

I have to say that I am really enjoying the rambling of the Australian radio commentators at the moment - in the brief periods given over to them by Radio Sport. Jim Maxwell and Geoff Lawson are a brilliant combination, the rambling dry wit of Maxwell sparks nicely with the, errr, rambling dry wit of Lawson. It reminds me of the glory days when Coney, Waddle and Parker shared a commentary box - back in the time before Waddle became all bitter and twisted - Parker's voice cracking like a school-boy's and wit so dry and sharp you weren't sure whether it would burn you or stab you.

Shane Warne - hero or zero?

Here's a link to someone else's poll, and an article arguing for and against the case for Shane Warne as a great Australian. So far 63% of people voting in the Sydney Morning Herald don't think Shane Warne comes up to scratch - but then, it is a Sydney paper and he IS a Victorian...

Personally, I think Warne is a superb cricketer and a flawed human being. He will go down as one of the game's alltime greats and did cricket a fantastic favour by restoring the place of spin-bowling in test cricket after a decade where pace ruled all, but he is also a bit of an idiot who has managed more than his fair share of loutish moments. But his skill as a cricketer should outshine those moments. You can find plenty of idiots in Courtenay Place on a Friday night who could easily wake up on Saturday to remember that they sent dodgy text messages to someone who is not their partner. If the papers were to report on any of them, then there would be no room for anything else. Unless he breaks the law, what Shane Warne does outside of cricket shouldn't be our concern - no matter how amusing it sometimes is.

Cricket langour is summer's language

I missed this guest editorial in last week's Sydney Morning Herald. Those of you who enjoy musing on how you can enter and exit two different states of mind while watching cricket will enjoy it.

Captaining the Rest of the World

The Rest of the World XI has been chosen for a charity one-day match to play and Asian XI to raise money for tsunami victims. Stephen Fleming, Daniel Vettori and Chris Cairns have been chosen in the side, but Ricky Ponting has been appointed captain. Richard Hadlee and Steve Waugh were the selectors and Hadlee has stated that he and Waugh agreed on the choice of captain. This is quite a snub to the New Zealand skipper coming, as it does, from our chief of selectors. Fleming is certainly the better captain and even the one-eyed Australian commentators have been critical of Ponting's recent decision-making. Perhaps Sir Paddles simply wants Flem to have a bit of a mental break, but if that was the case then I hope he spoke to the skipper first.

End of the tour

So Sri Lanka have gone home, as they probably should have done from the start. Given the scale of the disaster in that country it was the right choice, although I suspect the team could have done more for their countrymen by remaining here and using the proceeds from the tour for disaster relief. In the end though, it is hard to play cricket when you are grieving.

So what does this mean for our summer? Well it means no international cricket over the holiday period and I suspect that means financial difficulty for New Zealand Cricket. It also means that the fans will have nothing to watch but domestic cricket and the short end-of-season tour by Australia. And that might be no bad thing. The domestic game could do with some time under the spotlight and with all the international players available it should also be more attractive. The standard of the games should also be higher and that will do great things for the development of the second tier of players.

When I first heard the Sri Lanka tour was cancelled, I was disappointed - understanding but disappointed. But now I have thought about it a little more, and have reflected on the appalling standard of our test play recently, I have decided that time spent playing first-class cricket and relearning the basics is just what our players need and I am quite looking forward to following the fortunes of a Northern Districts team with Daniel Vettori back on board.

Review of the year

Lynn McConnell has written a review of the year for Cricinfo. He doesn't reveal anything particularly insightful - we are better at the one-day game than the test game and Daniel Vettori is back to form - but it is still worth a read.

Martin Crowe replies

Martin Crowe has replied to Andrew McLean's criticism with no small degree of vitriol.

Andrew McLean's recent article criticising Sky TV's opening-game coverage of the New Zealand-Sri Lanka tour is so way off the mark that it needs not only correcting but a serious look at the man writing it.

Quite.

The showboater baits the booing Australian crowd

Shoaib showboater

Today's Sydney Morning Herald includes a piece by Peter Roebuck on the battle between Justin Langer and Shoaib Akhtar at Melbourne. The battle made for great viewing - Akhtar may be a completely loopy showboater, but he is bloody fantastic to watch.

Hawk-eyes and poor knowledge

Andrew McLean is not someone you would ever accuse of lacking cricket knowledge, and he uses some of his knowledge today to point out some of Sky's awkward failings.

Poll results and a new poll

It seems half of you are pessimists and half of you optimists. In my last poll six of you were bouyed by the one-day results in Australia, and six were still depressed about our prospects in the upcoming tests.

My new poll asks you to reveal your dearest cricket-related wish. Vote now and make sure that Santa is not left uncertain about what he should pack on his next visit to New Zealand.

Cricket in 2004

Peter Roebuck has reviewed cricket in 2004 and decided that it was a troubled year. I can't add much to his analysis, except to emphasise that the ICC is failing. Petty politics, greed and decisions which are often nothing more than weak-willed cop-outs are doing the game tremendous harm. It is time for decision-making to be taken from the hands of national board representatives, who appear to care only for the success of their own national sides, and put into the hands of professional administrators with a clear directive to do the best for the game as a whole.

There is a wide belief that the new anti-chucking law was the result of Sri Lanka calling in favours owed to it by the other members of the sub-continental clique to ensure that Murali can keep bowling Sri Lanka to success. Whether this is true or not, the process of decision-making demonstrated by the rumour is indicative of an organisation where national self-interest holds sway over the best interests of the game at large.

It is appropriate for administrators of national boards to do the best they can to improve cricket in their country. Martin Snedden's aim should be to do all he can to lift cricket in New Zealand. And Snedden is a talented administrator with a lot to contribute to the debate about what is best for world cricket. But while he should be able to contribute to this debate, he should not be part of the final decision-making process - because there are often conflicts between what is best for New Zealand cricket and what is best for world cricket. The best thing for cricket internationally is to have a clear, unambiguous rule on chucking. The best thing for Sri Lankan cricket have Murali bowling his doosra. You cannot allow the game to be tainted by intrigue, or even the rumours in intrigue, by letting the adminstrator responsible for Sri Lankan cricket (or New Zealand cricket, or English cricket) decide how the international game should be run.

The "Black Caps" website

Golly. A new New Zealand cricket website. Some of the stats seem a little ropey and it is a little hard to navigate - particularly if you are looking for information on the domestic game - but it has some very comprehensive and informative player profiles (make sure you click on "full profile" after clicking on a player's name). A nice add-on to the old nzcricket.co.nz website.

Battle of the Keepers

Andrew McLean starts speculating on the make-up of a World XI to play Australia by looking at who might challenge for the keeper's spot. McLean sees it as a showdown between Kumar Sangakkara and Brendon McCullum.

There are plenty of other places to start speculating - who will open the bowling, who will open the batting - but wicket-keeper seems a nice, low-key place to start. It is a bit surprising to see that Brendon McCullum has managed to get into the reckoning so early into his career, but a review of the rest of the world shows that wicket-keepers are having a rough old time. Mark Boucher has been dumped from South Africa; Geraint Jones has been untidy; Kamran Akmal, Carlton Baugh and Dinesh Karthik are even newer to top-level cricket than McCullum; and on recent performances, players from Zimbabwe and Bangladesh should concentrate on drawing the odd match before they start thinking about World XIs. So based on form and recent results, McCullum is probably in with a good shot of selection if he can outplay Sangakkara over the Sri Lanka series.

The problem is of course that selection will probably hinge on more than just form and results. The matches are all about drawing an audience and that means ensuring that the largest (and richest) viewing populations are catered for. I suspect this will mean that the World XI will contain at least one player from every major cricketing nation and that those nations with the biggest television viewing populations will have more players selected than those without. Even if New Zealand ends the series as the number two ranked nation in the world, don't expect us to have more than one player in the side.

The Herald on Sunday's review of the year in cricket

The Herald on Sunday managed to find a few speks of joy in a year of misery, although it surprisingly omitted Chris Martin's bowling heroics against the Proteas.

Hamilton's pitch

Apparently there are problems with the wicket at Westpac Trust Park. Again.

We are a month away from test cricket there and it is a worry that they are already talking about problems. The groundsman is optimistic, but even his comments indicate that at best the pitch will be low and slow. I used to think that Hamilton was just unlucky in that it would have had good wickets but for the weather, but the recent history of the ground indicates that it hosts either low-scoring lotteries or slow-scoring borefests.

Auckland no longer deserves test match cricket and Hamilton needs to improve on recent pitches. Perhaps it is time to experiment with new venues, Hagley Oval has the best pitch in the country and McLean Park just hosted a magnificient first-class game in which Northern Districts scored 400/9 in the fourth innings to win. You might argue that those grounds do not have the capacity of Eden Park or Westpac Trust Park, but it is unlikely that a test match would fill them anyway. And 7000 fans packing out McLean Park would create a much better atmosphere than 10,000 in a mostly empty Eden Park.

The invention of the pads

Ouch! Wisden has printed a summary of the match which resulted in the introduction of the pad in 1836. The whole thing is worth reading, but here is what happened after England's best cricketer of the time (Alfred Mynn) faced the country's fastest pace bowler (Samuel Redgate):

Mynn beckoned Lord Beauclerk to him as he staggered into a tent before showing him his leg. Beauclerk, one of the virility cult who were against any leg-guards, was appalled at what he saw. He immediately sent for a stagecoach to take Mynn back to London. But Mynn was so huge, and the leg so inflamed, that he could not get inside, so he lay flat on the roof, where the luggage usually went. The uneven roads of the 1830s would have added considerably to Mynn's discomfort. He began his recovery at the Angel Tavern in St Martin's Lane in London, before moving on to St Bartholomew's Hospital, where eminent surgeons debated whether they could save his leg or not.

Perhaps this is how we can handicap the Aussies. I'd like to see them score 350 runs a day against Shoaib Akhtar without pads on...

Richardson's fine figures

Cricinfo has analysised Mark Richardson's career, and decided he was quite handy really. Mark himself has shown quite a relaxed (but clearly knowledgeable) approach to statistics, when asked by the press whether he minded ending his career stuck on 9994 first-class runs he said "no" and commented, "if you stick a decimal point in the middle of those figures it's the same as Sir Don Bradman's test average."

A State of madness

After two rounds of competition the State Championship now goes into hiding until mid-January. Meaning that the only chance for a New Zealand (or potential New Zealand) cricketer to play a match lasting more than 50 overs before the first test against Sri Lanka will be if they happen to play for Auckland during that team's warm-up match against the tourists. This is pure madness. Our players have patently forgotten how to play the longer version of the game and the best way to remind them is to get them to play four-day matches. Not only that but the first-class competition is a chance for the players on the fringes to showcase their test credentials. Instead, the players will be fed a month of one-day domestic and international slog-a-thons which will only drive their test game further backwards and will prevent promising stone-wallers like Nick Horsley from even getting a chance to shine.

I understand that New Zealand Cricket wants to squeeze as much money out of the summer holidays as possible, and that means staging one-day matches, but this poorly thought-out excuse for a season is only going to lead to disastrous international performances. And that will cause the crowds, and the money, to evaporate. Surely, surely somebody sat down and thought about this before drawing up the season's itinerary.

As an aside, the one-day side for the matches against the Sri Lankans gets picked today. Presumably on the form of the players in the four-day competition. Sigh.

Kookaburra goes kooky

Wardy pointed out that Kookaburra have introduced a new cricket bat with an interesting design. What next? Studded leather pads and motorcycle boots with sprigs?

Dipak's batting order

Dipak Patel was on the radio this morning proclaiming the virtues of Jamie How. I usually switch off when Dipak is proclaiming, because the objects of his affection are mostly dobbers from Central Districts who have just taken an inexpensive four-for on a vicious greentop somewhere in the wops (Michael Mason, Lance Hamilton, Andrew Schwass etc etc). But How is an opening batsman who has just scored three centuries in the first three innings of the first-class season, so I sat up and listened. Dipak announced that if he were to pick a test team right now, it would open with How and Michael Papps and have Fleming, Astle and Sinclair (in that order) to follow. Dipak believes Scott Styris can no longer justify his place at number four and that Sinclair is a much better player at five than he is as an opener. I agree entirely with Dipak's logic. The only player I would have a question mark over is Michael Papps due to some pretty average recent form, but in the absence of competition he would probably still have to be picked. Oram and McCullum are capable of good work at six and seven respectively, but given the nature of New Zealand pitches I might be tempted to slot another batsman into the order - Hamish Marshall perhaps.

Other players in good form at the start of the domestic competition are Kerry Walmsley, Tama Canning, Andre Adams, Chris Martin, Lou Vincent, James Franklin and Craig Gaffaney. If Vincent maintains his form, he could well come back into the reckoning. To boost his chances he might consider taking Mark Richardson's place at the top of the Auckland batting order.

Chappell on Bracewell and Fleming

A column by an Australian in an Indian paper attempts to analyse the problems with New Zealand cricket, and Ian Chappell tells the Mid-Day Mumbai that all the problems stem from John Bracewell.

There might be something in what Chappell has to say, but not too much. Chappell claims that Bracewell's presence and power has sidelined Stephen Fleming and caused the captain to lose interest. In my view Fleming's captaincy in Australia was weak not because of Bracewell's influence, but because his team was weak and the Australians had too few weaknesses for him to attack. Illness may have played a part and he was certainly starting to look more like the Fleming of old in the one-dayers. But one look at his face in the closing overs of either match should have demonstrated to anyone watching that his passion is not waning.

The fact is, John Bracewell is an abrasive character and he loves getting up Australian noses. Ian Smith's new book reveals that Braces' dislike of Australians goes back a long, long way (to the underarm incident and the disrespect shown by Australian officials in the aftermath) and it is not showing any signs of dying away soon. Chappell's piece reeks of a personality clash, and I do not believe he would have written it if someone else was in charge. The crux of Chappell's column is that coaches should not have a say in tactics or a say in team selection. Unfortunately for Chappell's argument that is not the view of most cricket-playing nations. If he were to be consistent then he should also be telling the Mid-day Mumbai that John Buchanan and John Wright are too powerful.

While we shouldn't have any concerns about the extent of Bracewell's influence, we should be a little worried about his abrasiveness. His time in Gloucestershire was marked by a player exodus (although the players who remained became remarkably loyal to him) and it is possible that this may happen with the New Zealand side. Certainly it is easy to see Ian Butler becoming disillusioned very, very quickly. And I do wonder if Mark Richardson's loss of enjoyment of the game might partially stem from this source. Despite this abrasiveness, I don't doubt Bracewell's ability as a coach and have been impressed with some of his unorthodoxy in keeping players fresh and interested during gruelling tours.

Poll results and a new poll

The test series was a big disappointment, and poor performances were almost universal. It is not surprising then that the votes for most disappointing performance were shared around quite widely. Scott Styris topped the poll, but only one vote seperated him from the recently retired Mark Richardson, who shared second place with Kyle Mills and Craig McMillan. Stephen Fleming and James Franklin both received one vote.

The Australian tour ended with a soggy anti-climax, but this week I want you to tell me how much those first two ODIs cheered you up and what you think this might mean (if anything) for our test prospects.

Bloody Bracewells

Brother Brendon, feeling left out by Johnny's outburst against Hawkeye, Australian curators and Australian umpires, has decided to throw his own little tantrum. In an e-mail to Ken Rutherford he accused the New Zealanders of being "over-coached" and said that they keep "coming up with stomach bugs, ear aches [and] swollen glands at the mention of hard-work". Ian Butler copped the biggest barrage, with Bracewell describing him as a "pea-hearted, selfish bloke" that "Johnny doesn't want in the team". This might explain why Kyle Mills was preferred to Brendon for most of the tour, but clashes somewhat with John's statement that Butler was one of the players who developed most on the tour and that he is "one of the guys that are going to be the next ten years of our cricket."

Mark Richardson retires from all cricket

Mark Richardson has just announced that he will retire from all cricket following Auckland's next first-class match. He stated that he lost the desire to play cricket during the tour to England. How will we ever replace him?

Braces unleashes

It won't surprise anyone who remembers him from his playing days, but John Bracewell has just thrown all his toys out of the cot. And, just like in his playing days, while he may sound paranoid - he probably has a point. Despite the groundsman's denial, it does seem mighty suspicious that the wicket for tonight's match has been swapped from a spinner's paradise to a pitch so green that Australia are planning to leave their only spinner out altogether. John has also hinted that he believes Channel Nine have rigged Hawkeye, I am not sure whether I agree with that but I certainly agree with his point that Australian umpires have a blind spot when it comes to Matthew Hayden and the LBW law.

The All Blacks and the All Yellows

In a very interesting piece in Cricinfo (although I might just find it interesting because he agrees with me), Lynne McConnell compares the Australian cricket team to the All Blacks and looks at the fundamental problems in the New Zealand game.

The 2nd ODI

Heavy rain is forecast in Sydney and the wicket is looking old, low and slow. It seems New Zealand are banking on the wicket to win them the match, and Australia the weather. We have picked slow wicket masters Vettori and Harris, while the Aussies have gone for an all out pace attack in the hope that rain will spice up the wicket.

Kasprowicz has been dropped and I think that gives a nice air of desperation to the Australians. They must still be the firm favourites, but it is nice to force them to make changes for once.

Something to ponder

Next year, after we have played Sri Lanka and Australia at home, the world champions will play a Rest of the World XI in a three match one-day series in Melbourne for $1,000,000. This doesn't sound too interesting from a New Zealand perspective, except for one thing: under the criteria (written by the Australians) the "World Champions" are defined as the number one ranked ODI team in the world as at 1 April 2005, and, if we can beat Australia and Sri Lanka, New Zealand will be the number one ranked ODI team in the world on that date.

New Zealand Cricket - upgraded

The New Zealand Cricket website has been upgraded and you are apparently able to follow the first round State Championship matches live, although there seems to be some bug in the system as I write. While that section is still suffering teething problems, you can definitely access an extensive database of statistics, including individual player records for U-19 matches which you cannot find anywhere else. The only real flaw appears to be the lack of a date to the records, so you cannot be sure that they are fully up-to-date.

Tortoise vs tortoise

Mark Richardson's running race continues to captivate the imagination. The Pakistanis are now talking up Inzamam ul-Haq's chances in a race against Darren Lehmann.

Victory!

Monday mornings are much easier to deal with when you have a victory under your belt. And what a victory! What a shot in the arm! A sensational match to remind us all that the one-day game is not yet a dinosaur that Twenty20 will make extinct.

Intelligence won us the match. It was the cleverness of Cairns' slower ball and Vettori's control which reduced the Australian batting and the impish innovation of Marshall and McCullum with bat in hand that saw us through to 247. Prior to the intervention of the imps, Astle and Sinclair laid down some rock-solid foundations. Bill Lawry busily wrote us off at this point, lamenting the lack of aggression. I see hope for the future in the fact that Australians no longer know what it means to build an innings. What will they do when Gilchrist finally hangs up his super-charger? Peter Roebuck saw more than mere imps running around in the New Zealand team, in this morning's Sydney Morning Herald he remarked how the side seems so much the stronger by virtue of the inclusions of a bearded gentleman who gave his name as Chris Cairns and a little chap apparently taken straight from the set of The Lord Of The Rings. Hamish Marshall might well have just won himself a new nickname.

ODI preview

The Aussie press aren't paying much attention, they seem more interested in domestic cricket and the upcoming series against Pakistan, but New Zealand are about to play three one-day matches against the world champions. It is actually a series we should do quite well in - an attack of Shane Watson, Brett Lee, Brad Hogg and Michael Kasprowicz is not nearly as intimidating as an attack with Glenn McGrath, Jason Gillespie and Shane Warne. Meanwhile the New Zealand side has been boosted by the return of Chris Cairns and Ian Butler. Butler's inclusion might not be the odd decision his appalling one-day form for New Zealand and for Northern Districts makes it seem. The mouthy fast bowler has been spitting tacks over the fact that Kyle Mills was prefered to him in Brisbane (and who wouldn't?) and a fired up quick might be just the counter we need for Brett Lee's pace. Don't expect his overs to come cheap though.

As you would hope and expect, Stephen Fleming has been talking up our chances. On the other hand Mark Richardson, who is not playing, he has returned to New Zealand in a rather defensive state of mind.

In other news, the President of New Zealand Cricket is touting Craig McMillan as the national side's next captain - which is news that I am sure will cheer some of you up.

Mark Richardson's thoughts on Australia

Mark has been talking to the BBC again, and this time he talks about how ruthless and methodical the Australian cricketers are. He sounds somewhat defeatist and ends with an almost fearful "the horrific thought for us is that we have three more Tests against these guys coming up at home with only the reprieve of two dates with Sri Lanka. And Muttiah Muralitharan's doosra." Which makes him sound a little like a man under siege. To make us feel better he adds a few of the usual platitudes about "not giving up", and at least he is not talking about retirement.

The most insightful thought in his piece comes from Jacob Oram, who seems to be hardening nicely after his Australian experience. Jacob said he would "much prefer to be beaten up by a champion than beat up a weakling." If he keeps performing at the same level as he has been lately, some of Jacob's opponents will hopefully be muttering the same words in the not to distant future.

Something for New Zealanders to cheer about at last!

Poll results and a new poll

There was not too much change from the results of my previous poll - which asked the same question about how well we would do against Australia but was posted before the first test debacle. It just goes to show that people are either pessimists or optimists and results are not going to change that. 13 people voted this time, 5 said the Aussies would thrash us without reprieve, 4 said we would lose but would also show a little spine and 4 weirdos fervently believed we would show Aussie what for.

I don't want to hang anyone out to dry and I don't believe picking a scapegoat is going to help, but my new question is hard to avoid. Reflect on the tour and vote for who you felt most disappointed by. Not the person you want sacked. Not the person you want to see hanged, drawn and quartered. Just the person whose failure you felt most keenly.

It doesn't get any tougher than this

In his latest column, Justin Langer tells the BBC that the New Zealand cricketers will never find test cricket as tough as it has been in the past week. Which, I suppose is a good way of looking at things from a New Zealand perspective. The summer is only going to get easier.

We were burnt horribly in the crucibles of Brisbane and Adelaide, but we can take a small degree of comfort from some flashes of iron amongst the ashes. Brendon McCullum and Jacob Oram came away looking harder, more confident players. And of the oldsters, Daniel Vettori and Paul Wiseman rediscovered their aggression and form. Others, like Chris Martin, can take pride in the way that they never stopped fighting.

On the downside, we have learnt that Kyle Mills is not a test cricketer, Scott Styris does not have the technique or temperament to deal with top-class bowling, Matthew Sinclair is not an opener and that James Franklin's nerves can still get the better of him. Despite these concerns, Franklin and Sinclair are worth persevering with. Sinclair has already shown that he can score runs against good attacks from lower in the order and if we bring in Papps to open and move Sinclair to Styris' spot at number four the batting starts to look more secure. Richardson has voiced concern that he couldn't cope with Australia and is starting to talk about retirement, but he has shown his class in the past and will find Sri Lanka at home easier to deal with. McMillan, Styris and Marshall should be sent away to spend some time in the domestic game - and if they can score runs and Sinclair doesn't then the path is open for their return.

The bowling is still an issue but our seam merchants will do much better on New Zealand soil. I just hope that the pitches are not made too easy for them - because it conceals our bowlers' weaknesses and teaches them nothing about how test cricket should be played. I am hopeful that the form shown in Australia by Vettori and Wiseman will encourage groundsmen to prepare better pitches for the summer tests. If they do and if he can master his nerves, Franklin still has the talent to swing through any side. Of our other pace bowlers, Butler is still in the wings, the rehabilitation of Tuffey is progressing without too much concern and there are some youngsters of promise about - Te Ahu Davis and Richard Sherlock amongst them. The best news, and whisper it carefully so as not to hex it, is that Shane Bond is bowling again. So things are not looking as black as the test series makes them seem.

In the longer term, we do need to produce much better wickets in this country if we are going to improve. A look at last weekend's club competition in Wellington showed that over half the top level sides were dismissed for less than 100. Only one side made 200. This does nothing for our development. Young batsmen need to learn how to build an innings and to do that they need to play on pitches where a freak ball is not going to dismiss them at any stage. And bowlers need to learn to do more than just land a ball on its seam.

The end - at last

Journalist Malcolm Conn stated:

"The greatest blessing is that there is no third Test against New Zealand, preventing further ridicule and plummeting ticket sales."

No further comment necessary.

Australian hubris

Bloody hell, the arrogance found in the Australian is just becoming unbearable. Take a look at this extract from this morning's paper:

As Australia prepare to extinguish the final moments of this dreadfully lopsided Test series against New Zealand in Adelaide, news that Pakistan safely touched down in Perth last night should be greeted with a mixture of joy and relief.

However dodgy Shoaib Akhtar's action may be, this Test summer needs revitalising by the flamboyant Pakistani paceman and his largely unknown team-mates next month with a toe-to-toe contest the Kiwis have not been able to provide.

Completely outplayed in every department by one of the greatest sides ever assembled, New Zealand will resume this morning on the final day of the second Test at 5-149, needing a historically impossible 315 for victory or an act of God to force a draw.

Showers are forecast today but nothing that should prevent the Australians from a final mop-up operation to claim a 2-0 series win.

After taking the first Test in Brisbane by an innings and 156 runs little more than a week ago, it is a blessing that Australia's late return from conquering the final frontier of India prevented the scheduling of a third Test against the hapless Kiwis.

Instead there will be the inaugural Chappell-Hadlee three-match one-day frolic, beginning at Melbourne's Telstra Dome on Sunday, a welcome opportunity for the Kiwis to regroup in a version of the game more suited to their limited pool of talent.

There was nothing entertaining about yesterday. It was simply an inevitable grind towards victory by an imposing side that set up the game with a successful coin toss and some joyous batting on the first two days.

From the moment New Zealand captain Stephen Fleming called heads and was confronted with tails, the last faint flicker of hope for a contest evaporated in the baking Adelaide sun.

The clouds rolled in yesterday as if a blanket was being pulled over a lifeless corpse. Not even the floodlights during the final session could offer a glimmer of hope.

Continually whipping England has been a constant and relentless payback for all those Ian Botham-inspired years of misery when Australians could wistfully blame World Series Cricket and the South African rebel tours for some painful collective failures.

But it's one thing sticking it up the Poms as part of some century-old family feud and quite another belting your poor, defenceless little brother around the head.

This painful few weeks should be an ever stronger wake-up call to Cricket New Zealand and the International Cricket Council highlighting just how much work must be done around the world to bring opposing sides up to Australia's professional standards on and off the field.

Australia can hardly be blamed for taking the game to a new level of skill and professionalism, but if other teams cannot follow, the lack of competition may start to wear thin.

...

Doesn't the arrogance in that make your blood boil? I hope Jonathon Millmow takes note. Some of it seems remarkably similar to words he wrote about Bangladesh not that long ago. And the Australian should keep in mind that most of "one of the greatest sides ever assembled" is creaking with old age and that Australian dominance of the game is not going to last forever with so few youngsters challenging for positions.

Dipak Patel

A little aside in Cricinfo's stats corner this morning points out that of the all the all-rounders who have ever played test cricket, Dipak Patel has the worst record. Poor old Dipak, I remember when he first came into the side (against the West Indies in 1986/87) he was touted as the long-term solution to our problem at number 3 in the batting order. After a disastrous couple of years we realised that he wasn't much cop as a batsman, relegated him to number 10 in the batting order and stuck a ball in his hands. His first test wicket came at a cost of about 349 runs - and until he took a second, he held the world's worst bowling average. Apart from the opening-the-bowling trick at the 1992 World Cup and a 99 in a dead test, I really can't remember him ever contributing much to the side at all - so how on earth did he manage to play 37 tests?

Two different Aussie views

Peter Roebuck doesn't pity us, but he does remorselessly dissect our train-wreck of a tour. While Roebuck doesn't cut us any slack, Chloe Saltau in the same paper has decided to patronise us by proclaiming that half an hour of sprightly batting from Oram and McCullum heralds a New Zealand revival.

The headlines to these two stories tell it all - Feels like fulfilling obligations is Roebuck's view of the pointless mismatch, while Saltau proclaims that the Plucky Kiwis live to fight another day.

Australian pity

It seems that New Zealand cricket has sunk so low, even the Australians are taking pity on us.

The walking issue rumbles on

In contrast to the controversy which erupted when Matthew Sinclair failed to walk in Brisbane because he didn't see the slip fielder collect a low catch, has anyone else noticed the complete lack of interest in the Australian media when Matthew Hayden refused to walk off a completely straight-forward caught and bowled?

And will and umpire EVER give Adam Gilchrist out lbw?

A cure for our ills

The Sydney Morning Herald has the answer to all our problems - New Zealand should loot Australia's own overflowing pool of talent. In summary the SMH suggests that frustrated young Australian cricketers might be tempted to follow Sean Devine's track to New Zealand. Allegedly New Zealand Cricket has already pondered making recruitment drives to the subcontinent and offering talented young Asian cricketers a spot in our academy.

Second test preview

You get the sense that the Aussies are no longer aiming to just win against New Zealand, they are aiming to annihilate us in as short a time as possible. Ponting and his selection panel are playing just the one specialist spinner, Warne, and this is probably with the view that while the Adelaide pitch will crack and take turn on day five, the game is likely to be well over by then.

While you can hear the cockiness croaking out of Australian throats, the New Zealanders are being portrayed as a team under siege. The Australian press reported that McMillan abused a photographer who tried to snap him at practice and Richardson swore loudly and threw his bat when he nicked a ball in the nets. I suspect that this is probably just Australian arrogance manifesting itself ("we have those kiwis so beat that they are falling to pieces!"), McMillan is likely to abuse someone on the best of days and Richardson always places a high value his wicket. Certainly the players themselves have appeared clear-minded and focussed during interviews and are showing no other signs of strain.

In a way the first test failure means that the pressure has actually been taken off. No-one expects us to do well, so any defiance will come as a pleasant surprise. Last week I was feeling nervous as hell before the first ball was bowled, this week I am feeling fine. I suspect the New Zealand players might feel something of the same.

In team news, the Australians have picked the same twelve as last week and are likely to play the same eleven. New Zealand has brought in Franklin and Wiseman for Mills and McMillan.

Mark Richardson warming up for the only thing in Oz we might actually win.

Something to cheer you up

Actually, I have two things to cheer you up with. The first is the picture of Mark Richardson, and the second is the story it comes from. If you don't want to register to read the story (its in the Sydney Morning Herald), the short version is that Richardson is likely to challenge Darren Lehmann to the traditional end of tour running race and the biege brigade have already made him a green and gold running suit to match Richardson's classy outfit.

A new poll

In my last poll I asked you how well you thought the New Zealand cricket team would do in Australia. One voting bloc of four people (and I know who you are) tried to rig the results by all suggesting that we would win all our matches and Scott Styris would end the series as the world's best batsman and the world's best left-arm fast bowler. Sadly, that bloc failed to head off challenges from the pessimists who insisted we would lose every match and all our best players would be injured (6 votes) and the not-quite-so-pessimistic bunch who thought we would lose most of our matches but would show occasional bursts of defiance (5 votes). No-one thought that we would give Australia as good as we got.

This week you might get a slight sense of déjà vu. I want you to tell me how well will New Zealand do in Australia? Let's see if you are feeling any better or worse about the tour in light of the result in the first test.

Great minds think alike

Or it could be that the problem is just so bloody obvious. Mark Richardson's latest column for the BBC discusses New Zealand's second innings frailty.

Cowardice

Lynne McConnell as good as calls John Bracewell a big girlie blouse in a piece in this morning's Cricinfo.

What he says makes a little sense, but the fact is, the presence of Marshall and Butler would not have saved us. Selection is not the issue anymore. Our batting in the second innings is. The last four New Zealand losses have come in very quick succession and all of them are marked by dismal batting in the second innings. I suspect that the reason for this is not for want of different players or a lack of talent, but lack of a plan. We know what we should do in the first innings - in England the plan was to plant a platform and then attack, in Australia it was to grind out a total - but we never seem to have any idea what we are doing in the second. Our players seem to play a jumbled mix of half-hearted defence and half-hearted attack, and that is no recipe for success.

It was 30 years ago today

On 23 November 1974 - eight days before the start of the first test between Australia and England - Clem Jones, the Lord Mayor of Brisbane, noticed that the curator of the 'Gabba was rolling the pitch sideways. The Lord Mayor objected so strongly to this practice that he sacked the curator on the spot and took over the job himself. Jones' decision was vindicated as Australia won the match by 166 runs and went on to a 4-1 series victory. Perhaps in honour of this, the Lord Mayor later had a stand at the 'Gabba named after himself.

A 'keeper opens up

Come on people, where are your suggestions? You can't all have given up hope on the New Zealand just yet. While you are thinking, have a look in the Australian to read Ian Smith's views on cricket in New Zealand. It might cheer you up a bit.

Mr Fix-it

Okay. Let's forget the horrors of the weekend and start thinking about the future. The New Zealand team only has a couple of days to regroup for the second test. There is no time to call up replacement players, so what would you do to make sure we do better. And lets try to stay positive.

I think I would replace McMillan with Wiseman and bring Franklin in for Mills. I know the batting failed in the first test, but the top order has a big reputation and it is time that they lived up to it. We bat a long way down so can spare a spot in the batting order and Adelaide is likely to take spin, so Wiseman needs to come in. Mills did well with the new ball and then fell away badly, Franklin will give the attack more variation and more consistency.

Welcome

Welcome to "Mike on Music". I bought Jim White's new album yesterday, "Drill a hole in that substrate and tell me what you see". You might have heard Jim in his duet with Aimee Mann, the sublime "Static on the Radio" which appears on this album. The album is generally more gothic, lost and shambolic than the single hints at, and is none the worse for that. This is southern style Americana at its finest. Ah America, what a fine country. All that space. All those crazies. All those papers, television programmes and radio shows where cricket is not even mentioned.