The world turned upside down

Well I'm back from my wee break and am taking the opportunity to catch up on cricket news. I'm afraid that as I am so far behind on events that I don't have anything insightful for you, although I do have a little story which is slightly related to cricket.

Despite sunshine, warm blue waves and a steady supply of excellent cocktails I found the first few days of my holiday unbearably tense. I had no access to cricket news beyond a yellowing copy of the Fiji Sun newspaper which told me nothing about the fourth Ashes test that I didn't already know. Because I was so desperate to discover the outcome and inspired by the fact that this ageing paper actually carried cricket news, I decided to trek through humid and mosquito-ridden Fijian cane fields in search of a village with a shop that sold more recent newspapers. It took me much longer to walk to the village than I was advised, and by the time I finally got there I was hot, exhausted, bitten in a million places and thoroughly dehydrated. I was also dismayed to find a sign forbidding entry to the village to people who didn't live inside. This made me obvious game for a scam artist who said I could enter the village if I made a donation of $20, which he promised he would "personally pass to the chief". I handed over my cash and was then subject to the full-on village tour by the grateful tout before he finally led me to the shop. Having now seen the standard of facilities in the village's community centre, church and the chief's (empty) house I was starting to suspect the shop was not going to be a flash affair. I was not let down. The shop sold lollipops, bleach, rice in large sacks and 12 volt batteries. And that was it. No water for suffering tourists and, even worse, no newspapers.

By the time I returned to my resort I had a splitting headache and a face as red as an angry Ricky Ponting's. I was also no closer to finding the result. On the positive side, I did have a lollipop.

It wasn't until another guest arrived bearing a vaguely newish (but still yellowing) newspaper a couple of days later that I finally discovered what all of you had already known for at least 72 hours. Mind you, even at this stage all I had to go on was the news that Ricky Ponting was in trouble for having a spazz on Australian radio "after his side's defeat in the fourth test".

Thankfully I now have Dan's excellent piece to update me. And, having spent the last couple of days wondering if Ricky Ponting was suffering the same kind of "mental disintergration" that his side so lovingly prides itself on dishing out to opposing captains and hoping that he really was whining as badly as he sounded in my imagination, I have Richard Boock to tell me that it is all true and, even better, Peter Roebuck to tell me that the long reign of the Aussies is officially over. Sigh. A week away and the world has turned upside down.