Wednesday, 22 June 2005

Cricketing cliches

I mentioned the Spin's search for cricketing cliches a wee while ago, and here is the outcome:

Three weeks ago the Spin asked you to send in your favourite cricket cliches. The response was overwhelming, not to say slightly worrying. Because as the emails poured in, the Spin swore it had made occasional use of some of the phrases which you regard as tired and lazy. A quick look through some of its recent columns indicated that cliche is very much in the eye of the beholder.

What became clear is that many of you are fed up with the formulaic nature of cricket's vocabulary. Lbws are always "plumb", cover-drives "elegant", sixes "towering". Bounce is invariably "steepling", catches are "pocketed", and timing is "exquisite". Nagarjun from Bangalore pointed out the cricket is too often referred to as a "game of glorious uncertainties". Richard Earnet felt that, with monotonous regularity, "cricket was the winner". Andrew in Perth reckoned that batsmen tended to be bowled "neck and crop". Peter and Thomas Gaffney wondered why "any leg side shot played by a subcontinental player is 'wristy'".

Chris Sowton had cottoned on to the fact that "Glenn McGrath is always described as having 'metronomic accuracy,'" while Yajnaseni Chakraborty could barely prevent himself from screaming every time he heard a commentator say "when he hits it, it stays hit". Tony Mole offered this observation: "There's always the 'straight out of the MCC coaching manual' and 'if there are any small boys watching', but I'm sure they don't count." They most certainly do, Tony.

Others had even more specific pet hates. Here's Alan Synnott. "A personal favourite of mine comes from Ray Illingworth who used regularly to talk about deliveries that 'offered to straighten'. It generally meant that either (a) the fielders (usually English) were so delighted to have seen the ball hit the pad that they would all appeal in perfect chorus, no matter how far it was missing the stumps by. Or that (b) the ball was thrashed to the fence but was still rated by Raymond as a good 'un, on the grounds that if the batsman had missed it he would have been out."

Will Symonds took issue with the use of a particular noun. "A 'talisman' is a trinket thought to give protection against evil - you know, the sort of thing you pick up for 50p in Romford market on a Saturday afternoon. Andrew Flintoff, on the other hand, is a once-in-a-generation cricketer. Oh to read two consecutive articles without Sir Frederick Flintoff being described as 'talismanic' or worse still 'England's talisman'."

But the Spin's personal favourite came from Julian Kitching. "There's many a batsman who has apparently 'done the hard yards', 'put his hand up', 'stepped up to the plate', and 'come to the party, big time'. I am waiting, with some confidence, for Barry Richards to use them all in a single sentence." Julian, a copy of Cricket: Celebrating the Modern Game Around the World is on its way to you.

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