"Bill Lawry is just a one-eyed old fart"

South African journalist Telford Vice is unlikely to get a good reception next time he mingles with his Australian colleagues. In a hyperactive rant written as South Africa clawed its way to a draw in the first test Vice offers such choice observations as:

"Bill Lawry, meanwhile, is just a one-eyed old fart: not worth feeding, or getting worked up about."

"Who turns me off entirely? Our own Tony Greig. It's not just that he has made a career out of stating the obvious, it's that he's just plain poor."

Oh dear. I can't see him getting a Christmas card from either of those two this year.